shame – Spiritual Coaching with Pamela Jackson

Self-hatred is a very real issue that can be difficult to recognize and even more difficult to overcome.

It is a deeply ingrained negative opinion or feeling about oneself that can manifest in a variety of ways, including low self-esteem, depression, and social anxiety. Self-loathing can be debilitating and cause additional distress for those who suffer from it.

Identifying and recognizing the signs of self-loathing is the first step toward healing. Negative self-talk, feeling unworthy or undeserving of love or success, and constant worry about what others think of you are all common symptoms of self-loathing.

Those who have self-loathing may be extremely critical of themselves and their accomplishments. In an attempt to cope, they may engage in self-destructive behaviors such as excessive drinking, overeating, or substance abuse.

How can we recognize negative behaviors, patterns, and limiting beliefs caused by self-loathing?

Recognize negative self-talk, self-criticism and acknowledging feelings of worthlessness.
Notice patterns of self-sabotage and become aware of perfectionism.
Identify low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, and realizing the need for approval.
Understand irrational thinking, and noticing when fear influences your decisions.
Admit to feelings of inferiority, or feeling ashamed of oneself, and acknowledging when procrastination is used to avoid facing oneself.

Self-loathing can be a destructive force that can prevent us from achieving our goals and living our best lives. It can lead to negative behaviors, patterns and limiting beliefs that can be hard to break. But, with the right tools and mindset, it is possible to change these negative behaviors and beliefs, and create a healthier, more positive outlook on life.

Now that you’ve identified the issue, it’s time to look into the underlying beliefs that are causing it. Ask yourself why you are feeling this way and try to identify the root causes.

The next step is to challenge and replace these negative beliefs with more positive ones. This can be done by writing down the negative thoughts and beliefs, and then replacing them with positive affirmations. Speak these affirmations out loud and write them down, so you can start to shift your mindset and create a more positive outlook.

Examples of positive affirmations to replace negative thoughts and beliefs.

I am capable of achieving my goals.
I have the strength to overcome any obstacle.
I am worthy of success and happiness.
I trust in my abilities and strive for greatness.
I am capable of creating a positive future.
I am open to new opportunities and experiences.

It is also important to find ways to practice self-care and build self-confidence. This can be accomplished through activities such as journaling or art, or simply by taking time to relax and recharge. Participating in activities that make you feel good, even if they are small, such as a bubble bath or a walk-in nature, can help you regain your sense of self-worth.

Finally, it is important to seek support from friends and family, as well as a therapist or counselor if necessary. Speaking with someone who can assist you in working through your issues can help you overcome self-loathing and develop a healthier mindset.

It is possible to break free from these destructive habits and create a more positive outlook by taking the time to recognize and challenge negative behaviors, patterns, and beliefs caused by self-loathing. You can begin to make positive changes and live your best life if you have the right mindset and tools.

Welcome to Mystic Pam Jackson, Spiritual Coach, ThetaHealer and Instructor, and Self-Help Author! Are you struggling with self-loathing beliefs and patterns that are preventing you from living the life you truly desire? If so, you’ve come to the right place.

Pam is here to help you unlearn these negative patterns and beliefs and to help you create a new, healthier, and more fulfilling life. Pam is an experienced spiritual coach, Theta Healer, and self-help author who has dedicated her career to helping her clients identify and heal from self-loathing beliefs and patterns. Through her work, she has helped many people release their pain and find a new path of self-love and acceptance.

Pam offers several services in which she helps her clients identify the root causes of their self-loathing beliefs and patterns, and then create a healing plan that works for them. Depending on the individual, this may include one-on-one sessions with Pam, ThetaHealing sessions, or a combination of both. During these sessions, she will work with you to help you create an environment of love, acceptance, and understanding so that you can find the courage to break free from these negative patterns.

If you are struggling with self-loathing beliefs and patterns, reach out to Pam today. With her help, you can learn how to identify and heal from negative patterns, and ultimately create a new, healthier life.

Schedule Today

In our journey to inner peace and healing, both guilt and forgiveness of self and others have a profound effect on this process.

Guilt is defined as a feeling of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy; a self-reproach; and forgiveness as the act of forgiving or the ceasing of feeling resentment against an offender.

Guilt and lack of forgiveness of self and others burdens many people with the heavy weight of inappropriate shame and the destruction of deep-seated resentments.

In recent years, much has been written about the destructiveness of repressed emotions and particularly anger and resentment in contributing to life-threatening illnesses.

The belief that feeling any emotions means we are weak is a dreadful legacy to burden people with. Teaching people that strength means not feeling or denying our feelings is tantamount to creating illness. Beliefs such as ‘big boys don’t cry’ and ‘good girls don’t get angry’ has resulted in men and women who are unable to get in touch with what they actually feel. Depression is thought to be caused by anger turned inward and is only one of the symptoms of the need to protect ourselves from the scorn associated with expressing feelings. Many other illnesses and particularly the addictions are theorized to be expressions of a deep level of emotional pain.

Why won’t we forgive?

I believe it starts from our unwillingness to forgive ourselves. We believe that we are undeserving of love, respect, acceptance, appreciation, and the right to live a life where we walk in peace, joy, harmony, and abundance. Somewhere along the line, we started to believe that all the rules and regulations of the society in which we live defined who we were supposed to be. We stopped trusting and believing in our own inherent worth and came to believe that we were ‘not good enough.’ Messages such as ‘you failed,’ or ‘you should’ became a litany for us to abuse ourselves with guilt. I call it abuse because it is just as painful when we do it to ourselves as when others do it to us. We became judge and jury and found ourselves guilty of our perceived offences. When the primary caregivers such as parents, teachers, and other societal influences are unable to love themselves unconditionally, this ‘learned attitude’ is passed on to the next generation as shame to control behavior.

This sense of shame differs from guilt in that guilt is about behavior. Shame is deeper and more pervasive. It is about your being and feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, being bad and unlovable become the conviction underlying your life. Children grow up believing they are ‘not good enough’ and become the caregivers for the next generation. And so, it goes, on and on. I am not blaming the parents and caregivers here as we parent the way we were parented. My own definition of maturity is that maturity is achieved when we can forgive our parents and other significant adults for being human.

What Is Self-forgiveness?

Self-forgiveness is the willingness to believe that you are worthy, that there are no mistakes rather, you are on the planet, or in Earth School (as some people call it) to learn about being human. The opportunities to learn are just that – not mistakes – just opportunities to learn.

Practical Steps to Self-forgiveness:

1. Examine how you perceived a certain situation and how you can chose to change your perception. Remember that the thoughts we think create the feelings, and it is our perception that creates our interpretations of the situation.

2. Accept yourself and your humanness – you are not supposed to be perfect.

3. Admit when you make a mistake.

4. Remember that everybody is doing the best they can with what they know, and that includes you.

5. Let go of past-future thinking, stay in the ‘Now.’

6. Confront your emotional pain – own your own ‘stuff.’

7. Appreciate the lessons that have contributed to your growth and made you who you are now.

8. Say ‘I forgive myself for ____________ (whatever).

Self-forgiveness is a journey that requires patience, compassion, and a willingness to examine our thoughts and behaviors. It is a process of learning to accept our imperfections and mistakes and to move forward with a renewed sense of self-love and understanding. By taking practical steps to self-forgiveness, we can learn to accept and forgive ourselves, and to find peace and contentment in our lives.